funny the way it is

i am a huge college football fan.  one of the things i can't stand is a t-shirt fan (like most texas fans), people who didn't go to school there, couldn't get in if they tried, and talk more trash than anyone else.  it maddens me to no end that someone picked a popular team to follow for no real reason other than the fact that they're good, then proceeds to dog my team every chance they get.

my biggest rule for trash talking is this - if you went to school there, you're allowed to do it.  if you didn't, support your team but keep your mouth shut.

well, a while back i called someone out on a situation on facebook and they didn't like it.

let me start by saying this person is a texas fan.  texas plays in the big 12 south.  this person was openly rooting for oklahoma state.  oklahoma state is in the big 12 south.  there's issue #1.

oklahoma state was playing texas a&m.  i went to texas a&m.  there's issue #2.  i called this person out and told them it was kind of contradictory to be a texas fan and root for oklahoma state, since they're technically rivals and all.

let me also say that this person has routinely talked trash to me about how good their football team is.  the football team of the school they didn't go to.  in the state they're not from.

needless to say, i was not happy.  since i have to deal with this fairly regularly, i decided to put an end to it on my side.  i removed this person as a friend on facebook.  we probably never should have been friends anyway, because in any social setting i likely wouldn't be friends with this person.  childish?  maybe.  do i feel better about not having to deal with it anymore?  more than you'll know.

the funny thing is, as soon as it happened this person went to facebook to discuss being "unfriended" due to football.  which is a part of it.  but the bigger picture is that this person annoys me, plain and simple.  the fact that they had to go to facebook to get some reassurance from their friends that i was silly and immature for doing it just made me feel even better about my decision.

i'm not perfect.  but i won't apologize for not wanting to deal with this when i don't have to.

patience

there are some people in this world that, for whatever reason, just know how to and enjoy pushing your buttons.  i try my best to not let it get to me, but sometimes it really hard to just let it go.

the best way i've found to combat it is to just not associate with them.  i refuse to let other people make me feel miserable when i don't want to feel that way.

patience...it's more than a virtue.  it's a gift and sometimes it's not given to us when we need it or would like it.  so when you have it, use it.  you never know when you're gonna get some again.

one

so this post is bound to turn some people away.  but it's something i believe in and i write this for myself as well as my (6) readers.

tolerance.  look, we've all been bigoted in some form or another in our lives whether it be racial prejudice, homophobia, sexual discrimination, religious persecution, etc.  i'm guilty of it, too.  but i also like to think that i've grown enough as a person over time to know that we're one, though we're not the same. (thanks, paul hewson.  don't know who paul hewson is?  look it up.)

anyway, back to my point.  a friend of mine posed the question on facebook today (indirectly through a linked article), what would you do if your son wanted to be a princess?  it got me to thinking - i know a scary proposition.  but what i came up with surprised me a little, and i'm not afraid to admit that.  the bottom line is i just want my kids to be happy.  and if being a princess made my son happy, then i'll be happy too.

10 years ago, i wouldn't have felt that way.  and even if i did, i would never have admitted it.  in my eyes, you were less of a man if you were gay.  in a society where masculinity is predicated on how strong we are, how many animals we kill and what our sports iq is, it is easy to buy into that notion. but what really defines us as men more than how we treat our families?

i really am comfortable enough to know that it's okay.  my wife loves me and i love her.  my kids love me and i love them.  to me, that's really all i need.

a few weeks ago, we were asked in our church group by our pastor what we wanted our church to be known for and what we should strive to be.  i simply wrote, "love everybody".  it really is that simple.  people who hate us still deserve for someone to love them.  and at some point in their life, somebody did love them.  maybe they went astray when that love was taken away.

just something to think about.  try a little tolerance (or tenderness...thanks, otis).

don't think twice, it's alright

we’re into the last quarter of the year and as we approach thanksgiving, i always like to look back on everything that’s gone on this year.  it’s been a good one, albeit with some challenges thrown into the mix.  so, here’s what i’ve done so far this year:

-went to the mls all star game (bonus: i got to go with my son)

-got to walk on the field at fenway park (and sit in the seats on top of the green monster)

-had a beer at cheers

-got fired from my job

-got a new job

-got my insurance license

-coached my son in both soccer and baseball

-went to nantucket

-met bill belichick and jeff van gundy

-ate fresh lobster

-went to the salem witch museum

-drove a convertible

-saw some rockets games from a suite

-almost caught a foul ball at an astros game

-grew a beard (and shaved and re-grew it)

-helped start a church

-learned to let go of my life and trust God

-celebrated my 10^th anniversary

-quit smoking cigars

-drank a lot of good bourbon

what have you done this year?

i remember you

yes, i'm listening to skid row right now.  if you don't like skid row, then you're dumb.  okay, that's a little drastic, but you should at least rethink your position.

i've talked about the evolution of my musical taste before, but i want to expound on it a little more.  middle school, specifically, was a key time in my life.  i went from safe, parent-approved hip-hop (think Fresh Prince) to dangerous, middle-class scaring rap (Ice Cube, Public Enemy).  I also started to dabble in hard rock and metal.  I think I even had a quasi-mullet in 1988 or 1989.  Bad stuff, thankfully there's no photographic evidence.

I still listen to some of those rock and metal bands, notably Guns N Roses, Metallica, Faith No More and yes, Skid Row.

What bands or singers that you liked 20 years ago do you still keep in regular rotation?

have a little faith in me

ok, first things first.  john hiatt is pretty badass.  been listening to this song a lot lately and it fits in perfectly with where i'm at in my life right now.

between taking my exam to get my insurance license, trying to stay on the straight and narrow to lose weight and just living life the way i want to, it gives me hope and makes me want to keep going.  let's face it, we have to live with ourselves first and foremost.  so if we don't like who we are, then it doesn't matter what others think about us.

i lived for a lot of years obsessed with how others viewed me or what they thought of me.  when i got older, i realized that it doesn't do us any good.  we're only as good as we think we are...

so, i got some nerdy looking glasses because i like them.  i shaved my head because i don't like combing my hair.  i grew a beard because i've always wanted one.  i don't wear shoes if i don't have to.  i listen to music that may not be cool.  i carry a satchel (indiana jones had one).

i'm getting more comfortable with who i am.  i'm not done yet, but i'm getting there.

so my message to myself this week is to have a little faith in me.  because we're pretty badass in our own right.

a change would do you good

i promised you guys more consistency and that's what you're going to get, dammit...

today's post isn't fantastic, but i'm in a hurry and this is the only thing i have time for.  sue me.

random thoughts on a wednesday (idea stolen from my friend kevin over at http://themightyrib.blogspot.com)

i hate red light cameras.  it makes cops lazy (or lazier, depending on your perspective).

sometimes, i wish i didn't like sports.  it would make life so much easier.

have you ever looked at someone and wondered how they function in life without a manual?

i'm comfortable enough to admit that i will watch any movie with one or a combination of the following actors: matt damon, leonardo dicaprio, woody harrelson and brad pitt.

why do they call wednesday hump day?  shouldn't wednesday at noon be known as "hump hour" instead?

road full of promise

there are times in my life when i get down and feel sorry for myself.  i won't lie, i spent a lot of the past 6 months like that.  but something eventually comes along and slaps you upside the head, telling you to snap out of it.

i tell you this because i hope others can get something out of it.  it's okay to feel down on yourself.  it just means that you expect better from yourself.  most of us are our own worst critic - i know i fall into that category.  but it's important to make sure you recognize that we are all God's children and we will all fall short.

so, allow yourself a pity party every now and then.  but keep it short, and move on.  life is too short to beat yourself up when you can be out living it up.  hard times will pass, be strong and know that you're here for a reason, even if you don't know what it is yet.

In Defense of the Pig

There seems to be a cultural movement afoot, a shift to embrace healthy living and a departure from all things deadly – beautiful and satisfying though they may be.  To be clear, there’s nothing wrong with losing a few pounds and adding years to one’s life.  But in our haste to eliminate waste (or more appropriately, taste), have we forgotten the things that define us as Americans?

For every Mega Super Fitness that opens, there’s a new gastro pub or wine bar going in across the street.  Don’t get me wrong, fitness is definitely important.  But so is embracing and enjoying life.  What’s the point of living longer if you’re miserable while doing it?

In that regard, let me state my position as that of pro-life.  That is to say, let’s live life and enjoy it while we’re here.  Let’s go walk for an hour and when we’re done, we’ll enjoy a glass of red and a bacon-wrapped filet.

Food is one of the simplest ways to derive pleasure, slightly behind the most obvious one (but not always).  To bite into something that literally melts in your mouth elicits a feeling of bliss akin to winning the Super Bowl.  At least that’s how I imagine it.

Almost as satisfying is watching someone enjoy something you’ve prepared, especially if it’s an original creation.  And sharing that experience with others is close to a religious experience for me.

Now, I’m a big man and I enjoy food.  I wish I weighed about 100 lbs less than I do and I’m working on it.  But I also recognize that I’m a foodie and there’s nothing I can do to stop it; it’s engrained in me.  So therein lies my dilemma – do I embrace the food or do I embrace the health?  I gotta think there’s a middle ground, some shade of gray where I can move to and become mayor.

All I really ask is that we temper our pain with pleasure.  Don’t give up on the pig so easily, especially when he tastes so good.  By all means, do that 45 minutes on the elliptical, but don’t deny yourself that chicken fried steak and cheese grits if you really want it.  Give and take people, good with the bad, yin with yang – balance.

In the mean time,  I search for truth and try to make other people feel okay with the decisions they make.  My feeling is, bacon is good.  Ham is good (especially if it’s from Spain).  Fried pig ears are good (don’t knock ‘em until you try ‘em).  If God didn’t want us to eat pigs, he wouldn’t have made them so tasty.

So let’s belly up to the bar, get a glass of wine (or bourbon), share some laughs and fried pig parts, and be merry.  After all, life is good!

she goes around

first things first, if you haven't heard of the damnwells, go check them out.  like right now.  don't wait, open up iTunes or amazon.com and go buy some stuff right now.  or go visit their website and get the track that's the title of this entry, "she goes around".  it's disarmingly catchy...

anyway, i was e-mailing back and forth with my friend kevin today.  basically i was bitching about nobody reading my blog.  but i know there are a few of you and i was basically just feeling sorry for myself.  look, i know i'm a good writer.  but i also know i don't post consistently enough to keep people interested.  so, here's my promise to you the reader (all 4 of you) - i will do everything in my power to update this blog at least 4 times a week.

content will vary, but by now you know what to expect.  tomorrow will include my essay "In Defense of the Pig", in which I rail against exercise without compromise.  kind of like no taxation without representation, but a lot more lively.  There will be no tea parties on my watch...

so in conclusion, a big thank you to those who continue to read my unique brand of humor, sarcasm, disillusionment, etc.  i live to serve.