listening to the srv and hendrix classic has got me to thinking about how precious life is and how it can be taken from us in the blink of an eye. stevie ray is my favorite guitarist of all time and i still remember the day he died. a few years later, i would hear about kurt cobain's passing, then tupac shakur, then layne staley and the list goes on.
musicians and other celebrities dying seem to hit me pretty hard. but what about the other so-called "regular" people who leave us unexpectedly everyday? where's the feelings of sadness for those people?
i guess what i'm saying is that we should treat all human life the same way - christopher wallace was just another person before he was the notorious b.i.g. - should i honor him any differently if he was chris the mailman as opposed to chris, aka big poppa?
people's music and art touch us and inspire us, but so do those who teach us and relate to us every day on a more personal level.
just something to think about...
Saturday, June 11, 2011
Friday, June 3, 2011
tiny dancer
sunday is my wife's birthday. i've known her since we were 11 years old. we started dating 18 years ago. and we've been married for almost 11 years.
there's nothing about me that she doesn't know, and vice versa. we are that couple that completes each other's thoughts, but we've always been careful about not crossing over into creepy or gross lovey-dovey, schmoopy territory.
this is my attempt to explain to her (and those of you reading) how much she has impacted my life. i try to be a better man, husband and father because i'm scared to disappoint her in any way. if she wasn't here with me tomorrow, i wouldn't be either.
some things transcend explanation or simple logic and i think our relationship is one of those things. i try to make her mixtapes (or cd's) to give her some insight, but they never fully capture all of the emotions running through my little brain.
i've written prose to try and adequately express my feelings, but there's a disconnect between my brain and the pen in my hand that could never allow those thoughts to mean the same thing that they mean in my head.
so my actions are ultimately all i have, and i hope those actions do some justice to the way i feel. i know i'm not perfect, but to me she is. and i'll do my best to make every year she celebrates better than the one that came before it.
happy birthday to the perfect woman. love you.
there's nothing about me that she doesn't know, and vice versa. we are that couple that completes each other's thoughts, but we've always been careful about not crossing over into creepy or gross lovey-dovey, schmoopy territory.
this is my attempt to explain to her (and those of you reading) how much she has impacted my life. i try to be a better man, husband and father because i'm scared to disappoint her in any way. if she wasn't here with me tomorrow, i wouldn't be either.
some things transcend explanation or simple logic and i think our relationship is one of those things. i try to make her mixtapes (or cd's) to give her some insight, but they never fully capture all of the emotions running through my little brain.
i've written prose to try and adequately express my feelings, but there's a disconnect between my brain and the pen in my hand that could never allow those thoughts to mean the same thing that they mean in my head.
so my actions are ultimately all i have, and i hope those actions do some justice to the way i feel. i know i'm not perfect, but to me she is. and i'll do my best to make every year she celebrates better than the one that came before it.
happy birthday to the perfect woman. love you.
Thursday, June 2, 2011
read my mind
this kindle thing might be one of the coolest things ever. i bought my wife one for her birthday about 2 years ago and since then i've used it a couple of times. but the coolest thing was when they made an app for it on the iPhone and more importantly, the iPad. now i essentially have my own kindle, but with all the other badass things the iPad can do.
when i had jury duty a couple of weeks ago, i broke out the iPhone and did some reading. it's funny how many people lose that passion for reading. when i was younger, i couldn't read enough. once i got to college, i lost that love. now i'm hoping to re"kindle" it. you see what i did there?
so with that in mind, i set out to make a list of a few books i want to read by the end of the year. feel free to join me on my quest and maybe we can discuss once we're done. without further adieu, here's my list:
collected stories by john cheever
blood meridian by cormac mccarthy
a sport and a pastime by james salter
a sense of where you are by john mcphee
winter's bone by daniel woodrell
women by charles bukowski
american tabloid by james ellroy
so long, see you tomorrow by william maxwell
when i had jury duty a couple of weeks ago, i broke out the iPhone and did some reading. it's funny how many people lose that passion for reading. when i was younger, i couldn't read enough. once i got to college, i lost that love. now i'm hoping to re"kindle" it. you see what i did there?
so with that in mind, i set out to make a list of a few books i want to read by the end of the year. feel free to join me on my quest and maybe we can discuss once we're done. without further adieu, here's my list:
collected stories by john cheever
blood meridian by cormac mccarthy
a sport and a pastime by james salter
a sense of where you are by john mcphee
winter's bone by daniel woodrell
women by charles bukowski
american tabloid by james ellroy
so long, see you tomorrow by william maxwell
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
one man army
one of my favorites from what i think is an underrated band, our lady peace. i chose this because i feel like i am a one man army sometimes, even though i know that to not be the case. there are plenty of people on my side, but i often feel like i'm the only one fighting on the front lines. however, i know that's also not true as there are many of my friends who have taken paths similar to mine.
there are definitely times when i'm frustrated, though. this past weekend was one of those times. we were eating at rainforest cafe - the kids love it, the parents not so much. the food is okay, but the prices can be downright ridiculous. case in point, we ordered 4 soft drinks (2 were included in the kids meal price), 2 kids meals, an appetizer of chips and queso, an appetizer size quesadillas and a side salad. it was $50.
my frustration came in when i ordered a side salad, ate less than half, and paid $7 for it. i wanted something else, but couldn't justify spending $10-15 for something i knew i couldn't finish half of.
so, i know i'm better off than before and i'm truly grateful for the opportunity i was given. but i am still getting adjusted to this and frustration is one of the many emotions i entertain on a daily basis when it comes to food.
it's like a girlfriend you know isn't good for you. the relationship is toxic and everyone around you can see it except for you. you're blinded by how pretty she is and by how good she can make you feel before she lets you down again. in the end, you have to take drastic measures to ensure your survival. that's what i've done. i didn't trust myself around food, that's the bottom line.
so here we are roughly 8 weeks later, almost 65 lbs lost and starting to get some of my long lost confidence and swagger back. i still can't eat pizza, hamburgers, pasta, most dairy products, eggs and the list goes on. but that's okay and i'm slowly figuring out what i can handle. and things will get better - it's always darkest before the light. and i know i'm not a one man army, even if i feel like it sometimes...
there are definitely times when i'm frustrated, though. this past weekend was one of those times. we were eating at rainforest cafe - the kids love it, the parents not so much. the food is okay, but the prices can be downright ridiculous. case in point, we ordered 4 soft drinks (2 were included in the kids meal price), 2 kids meals, an appetizer of chips and queso, an appetizer size quesadillas and a side salad. it was $50.
my frustration came in when i ordered a side salad, ate less than half, and paid $7 for it. i wanted something else, but couldn't justify spending $10-15 for something i knew i couldn't finish half of.
so, i know i'm better off than before and i'm truly grateful for the opportunity i was given. but i am still getting adjusted to this and frustration is one of the many emotions i entertain on a daily basis when it comes to food.
it's like a girlfriend you know isn't good for you. the relationship is toxic and everyone around you can see it except for you. you're blinded by how pretty she is and by how good she can make you feel before she lets you down again. in the end, you have to take drastic measures to ensure your survival. that's what i've done. i didn't trust myself around food, that's the bottom line.
so here we are roughly 8 weeks later, almost 65 lbs lost and starting to get some of my long lost confidence and swagger back. i still can't eat pizza, hamburgers, pasta, most dairy products, eggs and the list goes on. but that's okay and i'm slowly figuring out what i can handle. and things will get better - it's always darkest before the light. and i know i'm not a one man army, even if i feel like it sometimes...
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